Monday, June 25, 2012

Dark Knight - The Black Beauty

We all know that life isn't sunshine and roses all the time. We live in a hostile world where all of us constantly feel the need to be loved, accepted, respected and admired. Ever since humanity invented sin(God did not create sin-We did), and evolved moral codes of conduct and slapped divine sanctions on itself, civilizations have sought to divide all actions, words, thoughts and feelings into 'good' and 'bad', 'right' and 'wrong', 'positive' and 'negative'. But different human societies have ensured that these terms are conjugational— "I am right, you are mistaken, he is wrong; we are good, you are in error, they are evil." While conflicts are continually maintained, raised to the boil and coo



led off intermittently, the fiction is sustained that Truth is one and only the paths vary.

Negative thinking appears to be more prevalent than positive thinking. It seems that with most people positive thinking requires some effort, whereas negative thinking comes easily and uninvited. The power of negative thinking, denotes that there is no such thing as negative feeling, thought or action. What one perceives as negative emotion or feeling is actually a protective feeling or emotion. The negative label, blocks us from seeing our (guilt, hatred, depression, fear and despair) protective and deeper alerting functions. Our fears, allergies, hates, outbursts, withdrawals and evasions are manifestations of our need to protect ourselves from rejection and humiliation. They are not negative; they are our shields and warning systems.

If you didn't know any better, you might say we're a country that preaches optimism. But foreigners employ a calculated form of negative thinking called defensive pessimism, that can lead to very positive results. Defensive pessimism is a strategy used in specific situations to manage anxiety, fear, and worry. Defensive pessimists, prepare for a situation by setting low expectations for themselves, then follow up with a very detailed assessment of everything that may go wrong. Once they've imagined the full range of bad outcomes, they start figuring out how they'll handle them, and that gives them a sense of control.

Many Psychotherapists encourage us to indulge our full range of emotions because each emotion has something to teach us. Each emotion thus plays a critical role in our progress and mind-body healing process.Accepting rather than rejecting a negative emotion takes the edge off its destructive power. If you live the emotion, you will be relieved of it and it may even help you. Psychotherapist Greenspan suggests we think of emotions as teachers. Sorrow teaches us about interconnectedness. Fear is a survival instinct. And anger indicates that something’s wrong that must be made right.

To this I would add, "envy teaches us that we need to better ourselves; disappointment tells us our expectations are unrealistic or that we need to increase our own efforts; frustration tells us we are bored with present circumstances and it’s time for a change". Being stressed means we need to list our priorities; loneliness tells us we need to be connected; guilt tells us we have been unjust to someone or something and need to make amends.

The value of victory is half a grain; the value of defeat is that of a diamond.That is the power of negative reasoning at its most potent and wise.Positive emotion comes from negative emotion all the time. We are all looking for reconciliation, a catharsis. This is how the darker emotions help motivate people to action and allow them to heal.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Bombay… Bombay…Pa ra ra rap pa







Bombay (Mumbai), The Economic Capital of India, definitely is not love at first sight for many. The first time I visited it in 2006; I found its extremities and contrasts, off-putting. For me, it seemed like it was an Indian city trying to be more western. Great Leaders always talked of transforming Mumbai into Shanghai but the fact is that they had not even spared Mumbai to be in its original form. When anyone walks into the street in this city, they shall only think of one thing, "Wow what a mess!”. But none cares for it. People walking from place to place, taxis stuck in horrible traffic, auto rickshaws avoiding the traffic jam by driving around the cars, and cows and other animals running across the street in the midst of pedestrians making their way across the crowded street.

I have heard many saying that life at Mumbai is too fast. I don’t understand what they really mean by that. The office timings here are the same like in any other cities and the amount of work is too the same. Then why is there a fast tag with Mumbai life alone. The only difference which I can see here is the traffic jam and narrow lanes.It’s been about 10 months in Mumbai now. If I compare my life in Chennai and in Mumbai, there I have to use my vehicle from my home to Railway Station, then Local train, again by walk to my office. It’s not only me, many people takes bus, then local train and either walk or takes auto rickshaw to reach office. It’s very rare to reach a venue by using only one mode of transport. I could see the same happening here too for many; thankfully I got an accommodation near my office in a walkable distance. Does that make this city faster than other city, since people have to travel a lot in fact very far? Only reason I would say for that is the Housing prices, which are on par with those of New York City. The other thing which I have noticed is the speed of Pedestrians. Here the people walk too fast, unlike Chennai or any other cities. I think that is only because to reach the place on time, not because they are very active.

My first few months living in Mumbai weren’t much better. I found plenty to dislike about it — the traffic and pollution, honking, crowds, and heat. The lack of space and privacy really bothered me. Not to mention how the city continually crumbles during the monsoon. Yet, as my first year of living here in Mumbai draws to a close, I have really grown to appreciate what the city has to offer. Strangely enough, I now love how its contrasts are confronting to people. It requires certain strength to live here, appreciate the city for what it is, and fall into its groove. Everything exists side by side in Mumbai. I can shop at a mall, or a simple local market. I can dine in a dhaba or a big Hotel even very late at night. I can go out alone safely at night, take a rickshaw and not get threatened and cheated. Although the city is stretched for resources, we have never had power cuts as I have never seen it.

Behind this is the blooming western culture interfacing with the traditional Mumbai culture on the street. Rapidly a western craze has come over this city. Though not severely effecting most rural areas and suburbs that badly, but the urban centre of the city have been hit very badly. Few days back I could witness a lady in a Western outfit with a cigarette in her mouth said, "Indians have spoiled their own wonderful heritage. We have no culture anymore". I didn’t know how to react on that. Wandering the streets of Mumbai now-a-days you can now rarely see the traditional salwar kameeses on teenage girls. I could see a fad of miniskirts (many times ultra mini-that’s how I call it), jeans, and even shorts/night dresses has taken over the minds of not only the teenagers but also the entire women community. The makeups and designs have altered the lifestyle making it very difficult to find the difference between 16 and 60.Bollywood has played a major role in this transformation.

Discos and pubs have opened all over the city. A few years ago, going to a disco was unheard of for teenagers, but now-a-days the opposite is true. Almost every teenager here has gone to a disco somewhere, sometime. But, surely Mumbai must have plenty in its favour for so many people to keep living there. The most frequently cited factors why people are proud of Mumbai were Bollywood, entrepreneurship, and cosmopolitanism. I’d certainly agree with that. Also, what makes Mumbai a heaven is the spirit of Mumbai which never dies. Am very sure that nothing would derail this city or Spirit of Mumbai from its tracks even if 100 Kasab's enter the city, and obviously am included in it as I am a part of Mumbai and now I am ready to live my life in Mumbai whether it is hell or heaven it doesn’t matter.

P.S. The post is not to offense any Mumbaikar. I love the city and the people here.

Bombay… Bombay ..Pa ra ra ra pa
Bombay… Bombay .. City of Dreams
Bombay… Bombay..Pa ra ra rapa ra
Bombay… Bombay…City never Sleeps

Bombay… Bombay…Pa ra ra rap pa
Bombay… Bombay…Badi hi hai dream{Cant get}
Bombay… Bombay…Pa ra ra rapa ra


Friday, June 8, 2012

How to NAME it ???

Many times I feel like writing something but I don't really have a specific thought what to write. Those days I typically don't write. Blogging less again means I am working more and that’s how you need to assume. But today I thought why not? Writing is a part of me and I always feel better once I have done it therefore I am sure it must be because I have something to say. Yes, something had to happen to keep me away from here for this long. "Blogging or not" (my mind voice says)so here I come you can't hide... Not really sure what this means but that was the reason that pulled me into this now.

I am already pretty delighted with the work am doing and felt I had come a long way from putting my skills to work for real. But now I am putting those together with a lot of excel, models, analysis which I don't think I have done in many years. It's being a lot of fun and highly challenging - the only question may be after this how do you go back to any less? But I need not worry about it right now; I guess I still have a good way to go!!!
Despite the longer working hours and dry weekends I must admit it is one of the best times since I started blogging. I could speak about the weekends - which are great weird and good all in one. Even relaxing I would dare say though that word barely comes out of my mouth when talking about a weekend. So let's make this about other than weekend and think about little later.

All that I wanted to say is, Sometimes I just feel out of place. And it is not that people put me there, but it is just me. You can't even say it is my biological clock because I always did realize when and where I am. And don't get me wrong, I am now coming from low expectations or low satisfaction. So what I feel is not that it is un-natural what is around me - I just feel the un-natural one. All seem to be living their lives and I seem stopped in some different dimension. I seem to have moved away and everyone continued life as usual, seems like I missed reality train. Infact I am unable to concentrate on my favorite pass time - Cooking.. I am typically happy in my life - challenging job, so much charity, so much happening. But in a moment like this, I can't help but wondering - why am I the odd one in the group?

Dear Sir,
Please keep thinking and come up with an answer and a solution asap.
Yours truly,
Your own mind
(Hahaha.. )

Adieus… time to Dream!!!