Kahani Ghar Ghar ki !!!

Well this post is not about the soap opera by Ekta Kapoor in Star Plus, but its a tale of great anguish and reflections my experiences in searching a house for my friend in Mumbai. Mumbaikars, with their own flats intact for more than 30yrs – please don’t scold me & do forgive me!

Searching for a good place to live in Mumbai is much worse than searching for a rice weevil in a Sack of Rice..  In the case of latter, at least you know that its there. In Mumbai, there isn’t anything called a good house to live. People pay obscene amounts to live in sea facing stinking and rusted flats (really posh), or posh-locality chawl houses (not so posh), or simply put, in an 1/2/3 and a half bedroom house for a prohibitively huge amount. You will wonder if its the rent people are asking for or a hefty ransom.

One of my friends was transferred to Mumbai recently. His idea was to rent a good flat and bring his family here. Knowing about the scenario here I had explained him the regular procedure of contacting brokers. A 2 bedroom flat in a 15K rent at Andheri was his requirement.  (i know the rentals for it are anywhere upwards of 30k in Andheri) so I asked him why Andheri? He answered, he would have  to spend more than an hour just reaching the office (yeah! Mumbai traffic is another long blogpost). He thought that he is going for a house hunting but I warned him its actually a witch hunting instead. Infact few of facts had even shocked me  when i accompanied him. I must tell you about this novel concept of “26 ka package hai” meaning the rent can be 23k if you pay a deposit of 2L, or 26k if you are ready to pay a deposit of 1L. Seriously I am wondering who did the maths?

Back to the witch-hunting, better the building, better the furnishing, better the rates. Broker showed a 1RK for 14k, a chawl house for 16k i.e. a chawl is like a slum area where lots and lots of people live in small houses cramped together (I am sure a lot of Mumbaikars would be on me for using such generalized definitions). Every Chawl house has a single room and has more than 5-6 inhabitants usually.

At a certain point of time, the real estate revolution took its toll on the lively chawls and many of them got converted into what are called SRS (Slum Rehabilitation Scheme) flats. Here, the builders take up the existing chawl and convert it into a dual identity modern apartment. The nicer face and the front side of such apartments is sold to the normal buyers, while the slum dwellers get a 1 room chawl house each in the backside of the apartment. These are constructed in a primitive manner with basic amenities, maximum space utilization for the 1 room flats. Some enterprising dwellers decided to get the interiors done nicely and rent out the space to generate additional income which can be quite valuable in this blood-sucking city.

Somehow I was lucky to get a 1RK in 1 of the oldest societies (where bachelors are allowed) which I found quite nice for my appetite. After knowing the actual rates from the brokers, just a little beyond my level my friend had set the limit for himself. Had it been a SRS, he would have got a 1BHK converted building for cheaper rate on bargains. The negatives were also simple- The walk between the entrance and the flat (the minimal requirement) would be peppered with people looking at you curiously. If you say something to your landlord, most likely the whole building will know about it by the evening. And stuff like that. If you are a small towner, it doesn’t bother you that much. But yeah, your “status” does take a hit! I think  8-10 brokers  whom we contacted, had given up on our limitation of not being borne in a family which can just lock away a few lakhs rupees as security deposit, or that of not working in banks which are ready to park someone else’s money as security deposit.

Now there was no point for him fooling around with the rent. I convinced him to look out in the outskirts. Economically and practically, it made more sense to move to outskirts. If you intend to stay near your workplace with your family especially in places like Andheri or Bandra you will literally end up paying half of your monthly earning on the rental. What do you think you would do with the rest of the half. Guess what, its not all light and shining in the dark city (Andheri=darkness), but the whole process of finding a good accommodation has been a nightmare for him. Finally he is now happily staying on the outskirts with his family, renting a 2BHK for 15K. Only problem is the travelling time of 1.5hrs from his place, but he has his company bus picking/dropping near his home which has resolved his Local Train commutation too.  

People talk about the great quality of life in this great absorbing city. I guess when it comes to the three basic necessities – Food, Clothes and Shelter, this city sucks big time. My personal experience is that leaving aside Vada Pav, the food bills here run far higher than the other three original metros. Accommodation, nobody’s competing with Mumbai. Mumba Devi is in a league of her own with innovative concepts like 2.5BHK where the .5 would not be considered as a B anywhere but Mumbai. But then, the city has a night life to offer. What the need is to find a decent accommodation! You can stay out all your life and party.

Lest I am charged with saying that all is wrong with this city – hell, no! As i have already said in one of my previous post (Bombay Bombay Pa Ra Ra Rapa Ra) I do love a lot of things about this city – most importantly, its people. It’s probably the only city in this country where the concept of personal space exists. It’s one of the rare cities in India which despite having such a big organized underworld, still has its markets and restaurants open till midnight and beyond. It’s a city which is a great leveler. Every day when you board a Mumbai local, it does not matter who you are and what your upbringing is, you have to struggle for your existence. And if you don’t want luxuries, you have to make adjustments. Go to the office at 8 before anyone else, and leave after 8 (or before everyone else leaves), and such things.

But, to make life easy for the wonderful dwellers, the city needs to start thinking. It’s not just good to be a spirited sportsperson, you have to be a thinking sportsperson too if you want to win! Mumbai – you are spirited. But you aren’t thinking !!!

The Best DATE ever !!!

Amidst the current hectic lifestyle, trying to be super-human (i.e) managing work, friends, family and life, we end up losing touch with the most important person!! Don't think too much its none other than our own self.

Even the so-called ‘Me time/ My time’ on weekends/ holidays is spent with other people and we end up being tired rather than relaxed.  Like many people around me, even I too crave for that one day when I can have a date with myself. It should be easy right? There are no appointments to be made, no work to be done, no bills to be paid …wrong! haha !! It’s a hard realization that I am not that easily available to myself, not anymore. Infact there are many other things that have taken priority.

The wanderer inside me goofs up sometimes suddenly such that I feel like packing my bags and going for a holiday just like that, to spend some time away from the maddening world around me. Ideally, I would love to switch off my phone and not check my mails/Whatsapps/Facebook/blogs. I would love to walk for hours on a beach hearing my favorite music on my ipod, dance away the evenings and tasting self cooked food for dinner before counting the stars lying directly under the sky admiring its beauty. I would love to visit some places which is full of natural landscapes and eat my favorite foods, meet new people and silently watch the sunset. I would love to sleep for a good 10 hours and do window-shopping the rest of the time. I wish I could shut out the worries of day to day life from my mind for a few days and enjoy peaceful sleep interrupted only by beautiful dreams. OMG never thought the list of events during the beautiful date with myself still continues..

I have been promising myself this date for long, where I will have my undivided attention and when I will spare no effort in pampering myself. I will listen only to myself with patience like I have never done before and I will discover things about me that I never knew existed.

Hope I get to do that soon… Keeping fingers crossed to fulfill this desire !!

I also suggest each one of you to go for a such kind of date to know yourself. Do fulfull your unfulfilled dreams. live life to the fullest. !!

Cheers !!!

Still Aliveeeeeee !!!

Hellloooo!! Whats up ???

Yes I know I have been away for a super long while and many of you may have actually forgotten me (I think I need to go knock on the proverbial doors again to say “Hi, I’m back”  :P ).

I’m still around though not been around your blogs much off late. Its been a while since i posted too. A long while infact. Kaan pakadke maafi maangtha hoon in Mumbai Style.  I shall not conveniently and truthfully pass the blame on the same old, same old – work and life keeping me busy, but ya that's the fact, life’s been awfully crazy and hectic as So much has happened since my last post that I don't quite know where to start.There are so many things i want to say and so many things which i can’t.

I have often wondered if I should just save what I have written so far and delete the blog but no really feel guilty for having the thought of the blog and you guys like that.

In a fight of nostalgia last week, i finally migrated my thoughts and resolved the issue. The first of them was to resurrect my dormant blog. The blog has ceased to be just an outlet for penning down my thoughts.

Thats it !!!  for few weeks am not gonna think what to write but when to write and getting out of my laziness that I find difficult, and I shall transform into my old avatar as a blogger and once I open the editor I shall always find something to write. Believe me I do have a lot of stuff to write which happened all these days...

Hopefully this blog will have plenty of content henceforth..

cya fellass !!

FOOTBALL FEVER !!!!

The monsoons have just started and the monotony of everyday life is slowly setting in. Just as how the first Crocus flower breaks through the blanket of snow at the break of spring, inspires the artist, nothing inspires the football fan more than the moment when the two teams walk out onto the green, proudly donning their respective colours in front of their roaring fans. It is a most indescribable feeling. Adrenaline races through the veins and the weight of expectation sets in. Breathing is suspended for a brief moment in time. A look of consternation masks the 22 on the pitch. The referee pulls out his whistle, acknowledges the crowd, and raises it to his lips and then a kick on the ball! This is the onset of a disease, and the one that is good for soul – Football Fever.

In fact, according to FIFA, there are 265 million football players around the world making it the single largest sport across the globe. Yes indeed, football is big business. As with all high profile, extraordinarily expensive events, much controversy surrounds the event. But love it or hate it, for me there is something wonderful about seeing teams from across the globe descending in a single location and playing a game that they love. Perhaps football is the great equalizer especially, the World Cup, the granddaddy of football, occurs once every four years.

Football fever has struck throughout the world and am not an exempt. And during the World Cup, it is all that everyone here is talking about. At Brazil, this Game draw mobs of often unruly spectators all rooting for their hometown team and for those who can't secure tickets like us, we watch these matches in a different time-zone only just because of the pure passion towards it. We've even joined friends and been a part of the crowd cheering on the game. It seems as though everyone is either playing or watching the sport.

From day I started  watching football I started liking GERMAN team the most and i would always say they are in fact the best in the world. Living in a mixed community of fans of different Football teams, I am feeling and seeing the sense of excitement on a daily basis. In the weeks and yes, even months leading up to the World Cup, people were talking about the big game and SPAIN/BRAZIL's chance of winning this world cup. I honestly have no idea on other team’s stands at winning but regardless of this, GERMAN support has been prominently displayed by me. I always wish to be in the crowds roaring and cheering when my Team is playing.

Facebook pages are filled with commentary about good and bad plays and calls. Even those countries without low FIFA rankings have fans and these teams really surprised their fans by awesome game and classic wins over the biggies. I must admit, it is all kind of exciting. While we haven't been staying up into the wee hours to watch the games, and we have been catching as many as we can.

Do you have any favourite team?

For all non-GERMAN matches, I have a tendency to root for the underdog but I guess it all depends upon who is actually playing at the moment. And the fact is that it really doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day it is the excitement of the game that is so contagious.

PAY IT FORWARD !!!

The blogging world has been both fascinating and overwhelming to me.  I hesitated starting a blog for years.  I had difficulty overcoming the thought that it was self-centered to assume that people would want to read what I have to say. And especially the language barrier, hindered me in expressing my thoughts. But thanks to the invention of apps that are interactive, I’m now a member of Words with Friends and one other interactive game. The first one is fun, allowing me to use my  word vocabulary to impress my friends with words along the lines of ‘some’ and ‘other’. Let me point out, I have never won with big scores though.

I am so grateful that I finally overcame my fears and entered into this arena – and a huge thank you to the friends... It has already been a wild ride. I had received comments to many of my blog from my family & friends.The comments, though not on the post itself, but by emails, text, verbally, in person, etc. truly touched me to my core..

As I read all of the comments, though, I was extremely touched by them.  The act of commenting alone, is a kindness (someone is taking time out of their busy lives to show interest in what I said); but it is also the nature of the comments.

People offer interest, sympathy,  concern,  support, encouragement and love.   And these people are not only my immediate family and core group of friends – they are my extended family, with whom I have reconnected in significant ways; they are acquaintances, with whom I have forged tighter and closer friendships; they are total strangers, with whom I want to become friends and, really, consider friends already.

It is easy to get bogged down in the depressing aspects of our world right now.  That so many people are willing to take the time to offer encouragement and support is a huge reminder to me about the basic goodness of human nature.  And also how incredibly important it is for us to reach out to one another.

It has caused me to reassess my views. I have been reading various blogs and facebook posts for years but rarely commented.

Why?

When I was in my busy and stressed out phase of my life, I think it was a time issue.  I see the absurdity of that now.  How much time does it really take to reach out and pat someone else on the back (actually or virtually)?

I also struggled with feeling as if I was an intruder.  There is a sense of voyeurism when reading people’s posts and, by commenting, you are admitting to being a voyeur (or so I thought at the time).  I realize now how wrong that is.

I am reminded of the movie ”PAY IT FORWARD” which was remade as "STALIN" in Telugu and "JAI HO" in Hindi, in which a favor for someone to be paid forward by doing a favor for three persons, rather than returning the favor to the same person.  It was a bit of an odd movie, but the concept of paying it forward is a strong one.

So please consider this my way of paying it forward in the social media arena, motivating the budding bloggers like me...

For those of you considering a blog, go ahead and try it.  It has been one of the more rewarding experiences of my life.  I feel as if I am finding my voice and living a life more authentic to me.

For those of you who read blogs, please consider commenting on posts that you enjoy.  Understand that by commenting and showing interest in a post, you are showing kindness to the author.  Now when I read blogs and posts, I make the effort to comment on ones that I find interesting.  And when I do comment, I feel very positive about it.

And then on a more personal level, for those of you who have commented on my posts or offered me encouragement on my blog, I give to you a huge and heartfelt thank you.

Is it true that you want it?

I know I have not been updating more often and I am trying harder to keep on track with it! But I am not abandoning this beautiful but awkward mind-space that I have created.

So, if you know anything about my life right now (my Facebook statuses will reveal it), you’d know that I am having a heck of a time sleeping. It continually evades me. Which is weird, because usually my relationship with sleep is usually very copacetic? But I guess I get much like an overly attached girlfriend to my sleep and sleep decides it has to be a jerk.

So, I tried to calm myself by thinking nice thoughts, but they usually get away from me too. Finally decided to use my second girlfriend "Ïnternet" to update myself on the FIFA 2014, and ended up listening to Shakira's FIFA song.

Is it true that you want it?

Then act like you mean it

With everyone watching

It's truth or dare, can you feel it?

These lines caught my attention..  and started my butterflies of the thoughts on them... This reminds me of an article which i came across, it says,

"Whatever your bigger goals are in life, what are you willing to do achieve it? Are you willing to make sacrifices? Work when others are sleeping? Eat only particular noodles? Breakup with a girlfriend/boyfriend who is holding you back?"

Many times we may think we want it so bad, but do we really? Most people aren’t willing to make sacrifices to get what they want. The successful ones do what the unsuccessful ones aren’t willing to do. Those who like the idea of doing something will quit after failing once or twice. They will say, “It’s too hard. It’s not meant to be. Oh well I tried.”  But the committed ones don’t stop.

However this commitment alone is no longer enough unless you face the Battle between making choices (Easy vs. Hard). I still remember the nursery rhyme "Inky Pinky Ponky" which we used, to make the choice during childhood (in-fact even during our university exams) to choose the answers. But this methodology will no longer work out for these situations !!! It is a tough battle when deciding between the two. They don’t get along. They’re like the angel and the devil that sits on your shoulders talking to you. Each one wants you to listen to them.

When I think back over my life, I’ve found that time and time again, the hard choices I’ve made were the ones that provided lasting positive change in my life. When I took the easy road, it didn’t have any impact – it was only the hard choices that really brought about change. I’m where I am today because I’ve had to make hard choices the past years. They weren’t the most fun at the time. I would have rather been goofing off, watching movies, whatever was on TV, reading magazines. But I knew I had taken the easy road before that and it led to a life I didn’t want.

Hehehe ... I'm pretty much guaranteed to achieve my goals and I'm actually going mad coz of that and I didn't think of it sooner. I don't really know where I was going with all of these thoughts.  LOLz.. It is probably best to stop now. No more ADVISORY INJECTIONS  !!!!!!  Catcha soon !!  Bye Byee !!!

Perfectly Cursed Life !!!

Can you just imagine this. “Chasing that dream that you’ve always longed for. Doing what makes you come alive.”

Can you feel it? The joy?  The buoyancy? Me too, as stated in my previous blogs, even am chasing my dreams. If someone tells you that they are ‘following their dreams’ what would you say to them?  Would you mock and laugh or would you encourage and support them?

One of the Motivating mentors said in his seminar which i attended, "It’s what you were put on this earth for!  Your dreams are the reason why you are here, why you live and breathe today.  For you to be happy, fulfilled and in love with life you must follow your dreams because they matter!!"

For me there are no arguments here, just facts. However, living your dreams can come at a price.  Of course it is far easier to settle with the ordinary life, not rocking the boat or challenging the ‘way things are’. These days, the phrases ‘be yourself’ or ‘be authentic’ are thrown around so carelessly, that I’m not surprised at the amount of people who feel frustrated around the whole subject. What makes it even worse, is that when people say be yourself, it is almost always accompanied with the word ‘just’. Just. “Just be yourself!” They say nonchalantly.

On a practical note, it seems like a myth, mostly propagated by people who tell you to do what you love. Doing what you love will make you feel fulfilled. But you don’t need to get paid for it. So if you are overwhelmed with the task of “doing what you love” you should recognize that you are totally normal, and maybe you should just forget it. Just do something that caters to your strengths. Do anything. Doing work and being valued in the community is important. We become realists. Whatever the hell that means, for better or worse, we value people with money.

As far as I can see, the happiest people I know of are the inhabitants of tropical islands or are under the age of 12. There is something to be said about a child’s mind- the mind that draws a line between what’s real and what’s imaginary that’s so faint, you have to question whether it’s there at all. This pulls me to one of Ernest Hemingway’s remarks, “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”

Isn’t that the truth? The difficulty of being authentic gets lost in translation. It would be nice to live in a world where being yourself is like breathing, but that’s not where we live.

In simple terms let’s call it, a "Perfectly Cursed Life", where you can neither follow your dreams nor stay happy with what you have.